Meaning Of Life....

Halo, well it's been awhile since my last post, a week i think. Blogging is hard nowadays, since time was not there for me to use. Well, this week has been a week of discovery and reflection towards what my life stands for. I always think, what was it we live for, because i cannot imagine how wonderful life is, but still there are no guarantee target to what this life is for. I experience a lot from people around me to know, there are more than meets the eye for us here on earth.

So, to get started, let us ask ourselves, why do we exist in earth. The tree exists to give oxygen to the earth, the ocean provides habitat for marine animals, the sky, the land, they all have a reason to exist. Why human exist?? This is not a religion question, just it always make me wonder, does we have any reason to be created by God.

As we know, humans are the most perfect beings in God's creation. We were given a thinking mind to think, and act as we want. Why? I can't answer that. But one thing is for sure, we must be thankful that God decided to create us, eventhough we were not as perfect as god wanted. The world we living now is rotting, as a result of human action itself. Human minds are limitless, there are many good people, and many bad people.

Living makes me wonder what that word really means to us. What is our aim in the short period for us in this world. Always we heard we live for a reason. One wonderful thing we were given by God is the ability to socialize. We live in a society, where every person were born in a family. First with our parents, then until the time where we in our own family.

I have a family, like you and me, but sometimes i don't know what it meant to me. I don't miss my home, and it's not normal. But somehow i realize what i did is wrong, why i have become such a person. I should not let guilty takes over. Why? Why? I really can't answer my own question. I'm guilty to my family, you don't deserve this from me.

Next thing in my mind, why do we need to have relationship. I guess that's when our socialize part of human being kicks in. It's very wonderful to think how one human can be attracted to another. People falls in love, people get together, people just live forever. Wow, how wonderful that is. Well, if all goes well, that is. But sometime, things don't go your way. There are obstacles, challenges, and even constraint we can't avoid confronting with. I heard this expression where there are someone out there for us. Is this true, i hope so. But to think there are someone meant for you there, it's like trying to find a needle in a haystack. Best for us is just wait one appears. How long will it be? How long should we wait? Nobody knows for sure. I wonder this a lot, but all i did is breaking hearts along the way. Yet i still desire, but i don't want to break another soul. It's a sin that will haunt me.

So, there are a lot of uncertainty in my part especially. What do i really want with my life. Do i have a reason now? Then what? It's a mystery of life that only time can answer. We live in a highway that leads to a lot of roads, choices in life. Get in the wrong lane, your lost. Best if you find guidance. Guide you to the right lane, you will never be lost again. Make sure we are well prepared for the trip. Fill in your gas tanks. Set your goal, then you will get to where you want.

I'm writing this because i had lost the meaning of being me. I don't know what my life should be. How should i shape it? It won't be soon before later, so i really don't have time on my side. I made a lot of mistakes, to family, to friends, to people that cared for me. Why? Why i need to be like this. I don't know anymore. Let it be? No way. I felt something that i should not felt, it's a mistake i regreted. No more.......




-dlanor mrota-